Ask her the secret to 50 happy years of marriage, and Isabelle Laughrey will say there isn’t much of a secret.
“Just love,” she said. “Love is the same in sickness and health; love is for everybody.”
Laughrey and her husband, Clifford, recently celebrated their golden anniversary at a dinner party with friends, hugs, presents and, of course, cake. Though they didn’t set out to be marriage pioneers, the Laughreys have long been an inspiration to many in the Franklin County DD community.
They also have shown, by positive example, how important it is for people with developmental disabilities to have the right to marry, said Dynamic Pathways owner Jeanne Stuntz. She and her brother-in-law, Mark Stuntz, have known the couple for decades.
“Having rich relationships in life makes such a difference for us all,” Jeanne said. “People with disabilities ought to be able to live the lives they choose—and a lot of times, the system gets in the way.”
Clifford, 79, and Isabelle, who soon turns 78, are retirees with modest Social Security incomes. But if they relied on SSI (Supplemental Security Income), as many people with developmental disabilities do today, the so-called “marriage penalty” likely would lead to a significant reduction or loss of much-needed benefits.
Advocates in Ohio and nationwide have been fighting for years to enact legislation that would remove the marriage penalty by addressing outdated asset and income limits, and allow people to wed without sacrificing benefits.
Hannah Norelus, an independent provider, said the Laughreys have shared the same home for some 30 years. “They really are remarkable,” she said. “They’ve come such a long way together.”
Clifford and Isabelle say their story began a half century ago when they met at a Columbus grocery store (the now-closed Big Bear). Clifford remembers telling his mother, “Oh, yeah, I’m going to marry her.”
Still, he admits, Isabelle was the one who spoke first and eventually popped the question. “We got married at the YWCA,” she said. “The date was November 14th.”
An enduring willingness to move past challenges seems to be a key to their success, Mark Stuntz said. “One of the things I admire that they are so willing and eager to learn. Mistakes happen, yet they always are able to forgive each other,” he said. “As angry as I’ve seen them at each other, they still show how much they love each other with that same passion.”
Natalie Sanchez, the couple’s Franklin County DD service coordinator, said Isabelle and Clifford simply “take good care of each other.” Isabelle encourages her husband to exercise by taking walks, and they both share a sense of whimsy.
“No matter when I go over there, they are always wearing matching shirts,” Sanchez said. “Tie-dye, Halloween, Christmas – they find t-shirts to match.”
Isabelle is outgoing and talkative; Clifford usually is quiet, friends say. But on his anniversary, he wasn’t shy about his feelings. “She’s a good wife,” he said, gazing at Isabelle. “I love her too much.”
